Robo Hobo Homo #008

I guess the mathematical reason I'm here is because it's been two years since I've had a job. A real job. I've done a few different things part time. I get a bit of loose change on the internet for doing some general proofing/copywriting/coding stuff, but not a lot. Not enough.

I left my last real job working offshore in the Gulf of Mexico so I could finish school. I shit you not, I have a degree in Engineering. No labs, practical experience, connections, or internships that would make a career in engineering possible though.

Or any career at all, apparently.

I get a bit bitter when I talk about this because, y'know, I think I deserve better. I can do a job and do the hell out of it better than a guy who's doing it now, but has better connections. It's not the other guy I'm angry at; he's just an organism like my bunkmate performing the actions that get him the things that he wants. No judgments.

It's the system I'm angry at and me for not being flexible enough to succeed within it. For saying “Aw, I'm not good with people,” as an excuse not to make connections and undertake some tasks. For saying, “Yo, this is wrong,” or just walking away whenever my employer is lying, stealing, or cheating. If I could just not give a shit about the jobs I do, I think I'd be a bit further ahead than I am now.

I'm high-roading a bit, but I think it's justified. Two years, I've been living with friends and family, putting in about twenty applications and resumes a week. I've gotten maybe a half-dozen interviews. Three of them panned out into short term jobs, but none of them lasted or lead to anything greater.

I have, in retrospect, been pretty conservative. I've let some opportunities pass me by. I wanted something better, but I couldn't tell the people trying to take advantage of my desire for something more from the people trying to help me up.

My family and friends tried to help me and they did a lot of good, but in the end, they couldn't get me where I wanted to go. I wanted to go forward. I wanted to do something worthwhile. I wanted to make it on my own.

And now I'm here.