The words “I will regain all that I have lost,” keep going through my head.
They're good as a broad mission statement, but then I am an idea guy. The trick is always in the execution. Ostensibly “get a job,” is a plan, but there are a lot of part-time jobs that won't necessary enable me to live independently. There are plenty of jobs that won't move me towards my end goal.
Not that I know what that is. I want to be a good writer. I want to be a wealthy, famous writer, or at the very least someone who pulls in some cash with a side gig doing the writing he loves.
I also want to be a software developer. I want to solve logical problems and expand tools and watch a thing that I created move. I want to explore ideas and wield computers like a god. A nice cubicle that offers holiday pay and health insurance would also be nice.
I'd like to teach. I'd like to be a freelance web designer. I'd like to operate nuclear reactors. I'd like to drive my car without wondering if it's going to collapse. I'd like to go on a date without apologizing for how little money I have. I'd like to revisit all of the names from my past I have scrawled on the inside of my soul in a great reckoning of pain and pleasure.
I want a rebirth of glory, a renaissance of power! I want to stop running through my life like a man late for an appointment, afraid to look back or look forward. I want us to be what we used to be! I want...I want it all back the way it was.
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